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The scene: an unspectacular Tuesday morning, I’m cycling to work heading west along K’Rd. I’m approaching the intersection with Ponsonby Rd, so I enter the right turn bay intending to turn right. A car coming in the opposite direction crosses the centreline and heads directly towards me. I stop and motion to the right, waving my hand to indicate to the driver that he should get back on his side of the road. The car stops, the driver waves at me to get out of the way.

Me (looking non-plussed): You’re on the wrong side of the road, the centre line’s over there.

The motorist (motions me again to move out of the way):

Me (still non-plussed): FUCK YOU, YOU’RE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD.

The motorist (winds down his window so I ride up next to the car): Fuckwit.

The motorist then drives off.